monstersbride

I've discovered what's wrong with people. Are you ready? Here it is, it's really amazing and thought provoking and completely and utterly obvious: people are not self reliant. They go to the supermarket and buy frozen food, zap it in the microwave or fry it up on the stove and sit in front of the tv or computer and spend 30+ hours a week doing it. They sit motionless and stare in the same direction for hours at a time. They are zombies in short. I have decided that I am no longer going to support the evil empire of prepackaged frozen food veg land instead I'm going to read a book and bake my own fucking bread. Its easy and only takes a morning or afternoon or late night, whatever. And when you're done you feel a lot better about things. You MADE something and you can eat it, it is useful. Sure crafty things are neat too and yes I knit and sew and all that, but nothing gives me quite the satisfaction as baking bread from scratch. I'm talking yeast, sugar, flour, salt and water my friends. Nice and easy and incredible for the esteem. It tastes way better than the shit from the store and I did it myself. I feel I can do anything, fuck I may even start a garden on my little apartment balcony.
If people were self sufficient we wouldn't be so worried about WalMart's stocks crashing because we wouldn't be shopping there anyway. No, I've moved on with life. I've decided to only have and do interesting and amazing things. Making my own things is part of this because then I will truly know how amazing it is because I DID IT.
And don't give me the excuse you don't have time (actually I've become deaf to excuses and wouldn't listen to them anyway) because the only excuse you can have is that you are not willing to live. Don't take a pill because you're depressed go for a run-if you have that much time to dwell on shit then you're not being very productive are you? (of course this is not be confused with the normalcy of melancholy- I'm talking about lazy bastards who don't try anything) You can DO anything you WANT. Everything is in reach you just have to stand up and fucking grab it. So stop making excuses, take charge of your life and whoever wants to join your club will have to bring the flour.

1.
No, no! go not to Lethe, neither twist
Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;
Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd
By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;
Make not your rosary of yew-berries,
Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be
Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl
A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;
For shade to shade will come too drowsily,
And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.
2.
But when the melancholy fit shall fall
Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,
And hides the green hill in an April shroud;
Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,
Or on the rainbow of the salt sand wave,
Or on the wealth of globed peonies;
Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,
Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,
And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.
3.
She dwells with Beauty-Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can bust Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.
-John Keats 1820

1. Put your iPod on shuffle (or whatever mp3 player).
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
what i see-black flag

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
beeps-apartment 26

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
no place to hide-korn

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
kicked in the ass by adventure-henry rollins

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
it hurts your daddy bad-reverend horton heat

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
happy phantom-tori amos

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
remnants of percy bass-rasputina

WHAT IS 2+2?
homo depot-manic hispanic

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
disneyland-guttermouth

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
let's go somewhere-frantic flinstones

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
in the doorway-the misfits

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
do you wanna dance?-the ramones

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
psyclops carnival-mad sin

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
dancing with myself-billy idol (aww gee thanks mom and dad)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
smokin' banana peels-the dead milkmen (amusing)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
back beat no.1-cadillac angels

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
el dorado-agent orange

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
edwardo the barber-edward scissorhands broadway production symphony

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
black velveteen-lenny kravitz (guess it's time to clean out the ipod)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
hold on to yourself-nick cave & the bad seeds

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
untitled-blink 182

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
california uber alles-six feet under

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
running with the youth-total chaos

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
blank page-smashing pumpkins

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
act like you know-dwarves

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
fisherman's blues-young dubliners

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
keeping up with the kids-mindless self indulgence

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
mommy can i go out and kill tonight?-the misfits (that is REALLY amusing)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
tell me-sharon jones and the dap kings

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
janie jones-the clash


i think in the end all this proved is how much i need to clean out my music...

Ten years ago.

1. How old were you?
THEN: 14
NOW: 24

2. What was your online presence?
THEN: i think maybe i had an email, maybe
NOW: too much, hmm...

3. Where did you work?
THEN: just finished volunteering at the farm, started at fabulous mickie d's the next year
NOW: South Coast repertory

4. Where did you live?
THEN: clydesdale ct
NOW: san juan capistrano

5. Who did you live with?
THEN: Parents
NOW: jason and wes

6. How was your health?
THEN: pretty good, played soccer
NOW: descent, i should run or something other than yoga and the occasional walk

7. What pets did you have?
THEN: dog
NOW: none

8. Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse/S.O.?
THEN: nobody
NOW: jason

9. Any kids? Any plans for kids?
THEN: nope, i certainly hope none jezz
NOW: NEVER!

10. What was your worst struggle?
THEN: meeting people, stupid girls spreading rumors about me, braces and glasses
NOW: figuring out relationships, trying to go to africa

11. What was your biggest joy?
THEN: reading in my room
NOW: traveling, doing new things, dance party in my car, painting, drawing, sewing

12. What did you consider your greatest accomplishment?
THEN: scoring a goal at the soccer game
NOW: getting a staff job at scr, going to savannah, ga

13. What advice would you give your younger self?
people are out to get you and you have to get them, go meet people break some damn rules, curfew etc

14. What would your younger self say to you?
but what if i get in trouble?

15. Looking back, is your life what you thought it would be in 2008?
honestly, i'm surprised i made it out alive, i had no idea what i'd be doing, i just knew it would NEVER be office work

i stare into the black sky ahead of me
the path has many rain clouds
thunder
fear
lightening
flashbacks
rain
stinging
snow
trapped
rain
warm puddles
lightening
amazement
thunder
excitement
rainbow
awe
i stare into the blue sky ahead of me
and wonder when the rain will come again

I've been so busy it's retarded. I can hardly type at this point. I've been working full time in a costume shop and working on two student thesis projects. One finished shooting this passed weekend and the other shoots next weekend! It's been totally crazy but it's good to be working so much. I love being super busy.
Here's some pics from the Art Center project I worked on:



Yup that's the gateway cow just incase anyone noticed. she has a 2500lbs boyfriend too.

And this weekend I'm building a dress for an LA film school project which I'm very excited about. So I'll post more pics after the craziness has settled. Cheers~

yea! so i worked on the shins new video for "phantom limb" and it was lots of fun. the story for the video was historic events like joan of arc, the donner party and cortez beating the aztecs. it was in the form of a school play thusly we had to dress 14 kids in three different outfits. which backstage was a total nightmare but everything looked great on camera so all is happy! i have pics posted on people.tribe.net/msmonster so check it out. hopefully the video will be out soon and you can watch it on whatever thing you all watch videos on. the head stylist i worked for was peachy keen and i hope she keeps me in mind for future jobs seeing as she does uber amounts of commercials which is where all the money is. so if you like indie rock and haven't heard of the shins, you should've because they're the sweetest guys ever! very nice and sincere not rock star assholes! yea for nice famous people! plus they all look fabulous in period clothes. so yea that was my insanity spree for the passed four days. ooh oh and we had a TWO PERSON HORSE! heck yes! yea for creative directors of music videos! Patrick rocks. he did another video for them too but i haven't seen it. will do research.
i've realized that my writng style has become super lazy and i need to work on it. because it must sound like a 12 year old writes my websites or something. sigh i'm pathetic. oh well.
i'm super excited me and jay are going to england for a week and a half and we leave on thanksgiving. so if anyone knows anything neat to do in southern england let me know!
also i painted the living room purple and brown, the stairway dark charcoal, light grey and lime green~ so i've been busy damnit!
i still have to call the photographer from the wedding and order prints of the pics i liked too. god i'm so slow! hehe oh well i've been distracted.
i also did another music video for erik carlson- he does piano r&b (the weekend before the shins video)
from the santa monica pier on the erik carlson shoot

me and the shins

joan of arc:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/5406552.stm

after reading this article i realized how many dead babies are just hanging out in limbo because they're not baptized. pretty scary isn't it? hey i know let's get rid of limbo!!! i know lots of people are bummed out about this so let's change a doctrine of the catholic church from 2000 years ago, proving once and for all that the church is firm in it's beliefs and isn't politically swayed. isn't not because muslims allow "unbaptized" dead babies into heaven and it's definately not because there's a super high infant mortality rate in the two contienets that the church still can't conquer. it has NOTHING to do with that at all.
fuckers, hey why don't you start marrying gays while you're at it and giving abortions in the back of the church for discounted rates. but make sure you baptized that fetus before you burry it! (wow that's actually a really good idea- that solves the dead baby problem! i'm a fuckin genius!!!! ;)
all in all getting rid of limbo is probably a really good idea because what about all the other idiots floating around in it? like all the other people from the other religions who never heard of jesus or all the psychopaths and serial killers whos parents didn't baptized them. just let them ALL into heaven, what a good idea. heaven is starting to sound a little bit more like hell don't you think? aha that balance of good and evil has been tipped! now there is only evil! YES!!! we win!

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - Ernest Gaines

We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on LiveJournal. There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this. Thanks.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

more stuff

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive? (I was gonna take this out but I suppose there ase other ways of being attracive than the ones I don't want to know about)
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
17. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

I didn't write this, I got it from a friend on myspace, who got it from a book:


Once on a yellow piece of paper with gree lines he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops" because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an "A" and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts
That was the year father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of x's and he had to ask his father what the x's meant
And his father always tucked him into bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem
And he call it "Autumn because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an "A" and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint
And the kids told him that father Traxy smoked cigars
And left the butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him into bed at night
And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it

Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question" because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an "A" and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed her
That was the year that father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed or even talked
And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her but he kissed her anyway because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really about
And he gave himself an "A" and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn't think he could reach the kitchen

"Anonymous
The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Steven Chbosky.

Americans need to take a hint from their southern cousins.

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on
Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals
in a bid to head off potential terror attacks

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty
to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John
Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a
crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard,
hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if
They did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its
laws were made by parliament. "If those are not your values, if you want
a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is
not for you," he said on national television.

"I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two
laws governing people in Australia: one the Australian law and another
the Islamic law, that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary
law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have
the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps,
then, that's a better option," Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave,
he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to
the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told
reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values
Should "clear off. Basically people who don't want to be
Australians, and who don't want! To live by Australian values and
understand them, well then, they can basically clear off," he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday
by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques
quote: "IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave it. I
am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some
individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on
Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority
of Australians."

"However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the
'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that
our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor
do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming
to Australia." "However, there are a few things that those who have
recently com to
Our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand."
"This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only
to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we
have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own
lifestyle."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of
struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have
sought freedom"

"We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic,
Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you
wish to become part of our society, Learn the language!"

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian,
right; wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and
women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly
documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of
our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another
part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."


"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we
ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment
with us."

"If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like " A Fair
Go," then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this
planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and
we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By
All means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will
allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done
complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our
Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take
advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.'"

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to
come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens
will find the backbone to start speaking and voting the same truths!

SEND THIS TO EVERYBODY YOU KNOW

I woke up yesturday with the most awful feeling. I felt so emotionally drained I could hardly move or eat. I felt like someone had died but I didn't know it yet. I felt like how I felt after my dream about Columbine but I didn't have a dream like that. I'm not as drained as I was yesturday but I still have a strange feeling, I feel like I have a big empty space in the shape of a circle on the bottom half of my face. From the end of my nose to the bottom of my chin to my cheek bones. Which I think is an odd place to have any sort of emotional drain but maybe there's some weird thing I don't know about. I looked at a chakra page but they only have the forehead and the throat- missing my area of interest completely and if I mix the forehead and the throat together all I get is creative spirituality or something that doesn't really explain anything. But I didn't see any color there so it wouldn't be connected to that anyway.

So we needed a better separation between the kitchen and the living room because the living room is going to be a drastically differnt color scheme than the kitchen and would look weird. We may get some vintage swinging bar doors to block it off even more!

YES!!! got rid of that stupid FUCKING cabinet over the stove that EVERYONE is constantly hitting their heads on. (even when sober which is the bad part) Notice how there is an electrical outlet for a vent but no hole for a vent. The idiots who built our house obviously skipped that day in classes when they were explaining why a ventilation system is necessary for gas ovens. But we talked to our neighbors and their kitchens are like that too, so I guess it was a 70's thing.
We also put in beadboard on the opposite wall but photobucket decided not to load that picture so I can't post it. By now the kitchen is bright red and the boxes for the cabinets are built and awaiting doors from stupid ikea, don't ever order anything from those jackasses. THEY LIE! We ordered the cabinets more than a month ago and they said it would take maybe two weeks. So finally we call them and they told us the order was dropped because it wasn't paid for. HELLO? we paid and picked up half of it, why would we only want cabinet boxes but no doors?! IDIOTS! So they had to reorder everything and they want us to send the credit card number through the fax, yea fucking right. It took you retards four days to get back to us after we faxed the order, there's no way in hell i'm sending a credit card number to you! It only took three people and a couple of hours to find someone in management who actually had good customer service skills. Everyone else was either automated or a complete asshole. GRRR. Oh well it will all be over soon and then we can rip out the living room. Hooray!!!!

i just read on jeweler dave's myspace about rob and i was wondering if anyone can clue me in on what happened sounds utterly fucked up! i want to make sure it's horror rob, rob that was supposed to watch my cats. i mean it's fucked up no matter which rob it is, but i want to know which one? i'm assuming it is the rob i'm thinking of cuz he said crummy but just double checking
WTF??!!!
someone let me know please?

I just finished an extremely busy week. I was wardrobe supervisor on a short film about north korea "deface" an extremely well done project and cross your fingers we all hope it goes to sundance. it's worthy of so much more. the cast was amazing to work with and so was the crew. It was a student film so the few people that did get paid it wasn't very much but it was more of a project of passion than anything else. it was filmed in a north korean dialect so yes there will be subtitles, and in many of the most yuckiest places i've ever been in downtown. i don't want to give away the story in case it does go to sundance and travels around but if you get a chance to go see it, GO! amazing work, lots of research went into it to make it as accurate as possible. I'll post pics on my tribe.net site (listed in my bio) as that is my "professional" website a bit later. i don't want to spoil it for the festival.
on other news the music video i worked on a couple weeks ago should be on TRL pretty soon so if you're in the mood for teeny bop "punk" have a peek.
::gasp::
now i get to move on with wedding prep since that came to a screeching halt for this movie. almost done with corset just needs bones and fitting. one petticoat is almost done, oh god if i write anymore i may have a heartattack there's sooo much! damn it! oh well at least i have lots of people helping out.
finish my dress
get other girls to finish their dresses
go to CO to make another dress
order groomsmen outfits
invitations made and mailed
buy decorations finish making them
talk to caterer and photographer
make sure everyone knows it's formal NO FUCKING COCKTAIL DRESSES!!!!! if i'm going to spend 3 months making my dress you people better dress nice damnit!
i'm sure there's more but i may implode at any second.

aaaaaaauuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhh!
okay i feel better, a bit. well i still have to find shoes for myself! geezus! shut up!
okay now i'm good. maybe...

i'll shut up now.

i was looking at past entries and i realized i do a lot of talking to myself...